FORWARD: The other day I read about a man named Tom Clay.  He was a radio DJ who somehow impressed Motown records' Barry Gordy enough to be a recording artist.  Gordy would learn—after releasing several schmaltzy singles—that signing this radio DJ to a record contract was a terrible idea.  In the end, Tom Clay was one of those minor celebrities who thought he was God's gift to mankind.  He literally became rich off of your naivete.  Then he became unemployed because HE SUCKED.  I will bet you a raspberry lime rickey that after you read the following article you will say to yourself: "wow, he is right.  Tom Clay is a huge asshole."  


Tom Clay (1929-1995)

A real sonofabitch.  Tom Clay (born Tom Clague) was a semi famous DJ in the motor city in the 1950s.  He was famous for spinning records and equally famous for getting fired in a payola scandal.  But Clay didn't live as comfortably from payola money as he did from a hilariously stupid scam he devised during the height of Beatlemania.  At the time he was working at CKLW outside Detroit  in Windsor, Ontario.  After interviewing the Beatles on air, a lightbulb went off in his head and Clay thought—"hey, I might be able to make some money if I screw with people."  So screw with people Tom Clay did.  He founded a fan club called "The Beatles Booster Club."  Would you know it but, for the low price on $1, you could become a member and you'd—allegedly—receive a membership card or decal.  Oh, but there is more. You would also receive one personal item from The Beatles! Those personal items turned out to be—get ready for this—cigarette butts and used tissues.  But the grand prize was a little less dirty.  It's two words and it's called "absolutely nothing"— zilch! As it turns out, most people received this ever coveted grand prize.  By the end of the scheme, Clay made a pretty penny.  80,000 listeners sent in a dollar to Tom Clay's personal PO Box.  And that, my friends, was how Tom Clay made his money.  He took that money and skipped town leaving fellow DJ Dave Shafer to deal with the repercussions.  Shafer was briefly jailed on suspection of international fraud.  Methinks he also thought Tom Clay was a huge asshole.   

Our story doesn't end there.  Tom Clay decided he wanted to be a recording artist and he did so with a cover of the Burt Bacharach hit "What The World Needs Now Is Love."  Oh, but don't get yourself wrong.  Clay doesn't sing on it. Rather, he's recorded asking questions to a youngster about civil rights and bigotry over backing singers and recorded clips from news reports detailing the assassinations of JFK, RFK and MLK, JR.  It's stupid and incredibly schmaltzy.  For some reason, Motown records head Berry Gordy thought it was cool and released it as a single.  All of a sudden, Tom Clay was a Motown Recording artist.  I wish it wasn't true but, the single did absurdly well.  It sold over 1,000,000 copies.   Tom Clay got cocky and record another single.  It was essentially another spoken word piece (with an awful chorus) called "Whatever Happened To Love?"   It is also very stupid.  Nobody bought it.

Tom Clay was dropped by Motown Records.  He became unemployed.  He finished his career doing some voice over work.


Evidently, he thought the Andrew Jackson look was a good idea.

The following two "songs" are some of the worst songs I've ever heard.  

"Whatever Happend To Love?" by Tom Clay

"What The World Needs Now Is Love (Medley)" by Tom Clay