INTERNATIONAL ACCIDENT BY TOXIC MELONS

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Toxic Melons has 543 fans on Facebook.  It's a deceptive number.  To a degree, I feel like we have an involuntary negative bias towards bands that have less than thousands and thousands of Facebook fans.  Here's an example: your buddy's band has 35,000 likes and is playing a show saturday night.  Should you see the opening band? Well, they only have 350 Facebook fans.  Because of that number, a lot of us wouldn't even listen to the songs on their profile. The way I see it is, nobody pays attention until thousands of people have paid attention.  It's a strange sort of paradox.  It's part of the reason why so many artists become frustrated.  And part of the reason many give up.  

I'll say it again: Toxic Melons has 543 fans on Facebook.  It's a deceptive number.  How?

1. Their music has been featured on Coldplay's website.

2. DJ Jazzy Jeff ("Parent's Just Don't Understand") has personally endorsed one of their songs.

Toxic Melons is a "band" with a non-permanent, revolving lineup.  It is the brainchild of a 26 year old, power pop fanatic from the UK named Pablo Melons.  Melons, whose real name is Paul Fairbairn, is a producer, arranger and songwriter with a wild aural imagination.  Unless your name is Amanda Palmer, no undiscovered act wants to "make it" as much as Fairbairn.  If his music falls on deaf ears, he can have the satisfaction of knowing he's done everything he could to gain a following.   He spends night and day marketing Toxic Melons.  According to Fairbairn, he sends his music to  "everyone you can think of...not everyone replies, but some do."

One person who did reply was one of Fairbairn's biggest heroes, a multi-instrumentalist named Eric Dover.  Dover has recorded with everyone from Meatloaf to Alice Cooper, but he is most beloved as the guitarist for Jellyfish.  A now defunct power pop cult favorite, Jellyfish has influenced a variety of established musicians including  Ben Folds, members of Fastball ("The Way") and "Call You Maybe" co-writer Josh Ramsay.  Fairbairn is probably the biggest—and youngest—Jellyfish super fan alive.  After building an online relationship with Eric Dover, he was able to convince the former Jellyfish guitarist to record on Toxic Melons' second recording, an EP called International Accident.  

For someone who creates his sound with a virtual band of members from all over the world, you'd be surprised just how sophisticated the sound and arrangements are on International Accident.  Even if the music doesn't match your taste, you can't help but be impressed by the amount of details, the plethora of "ooo's" and  "ahhh's"  on the vocals and the varied instrumentation, which includes everything from organs to guitars to god-knows-what.  Fairbairn has an innate ability to translate what's in his head onto record.  If he doesn't make it with Toxic Melons, the EP International Accident should indicate enough credibility for him to land gigs producing for other bands.  As a songwriter, he sometimes lets his imagination go too far, opting for a lot of notes and jarring, zig-zaggy interludes.  His music could probably benefit from a "less is more" approach.  That said, there's enough examples of his strong melodic abilities on songs like "Ode To Procrastination" and "Alex's Song" to make one believe Fairbairn only needs more discipline and that there are volcanoes of potential inside him.  Make no mistake, they're itching to erupt.  

Click this and get ready to be International Accidented. 

SINGLES GOING STEADY: "SNOW DAYS" BY TRIP SHAKESPEARE

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Trip Shakespeare (L-R: Matt Wilson - Guitars, Vocals; Elaine Harris - Drums, Percussion; John Munson - Fretless Bass, Vocals; Dan Wilson - Guitar, Piano, Vocals)

"Snow Days" was never anything close to a hit song, but for thousands of people in Minneapolis, it is almost a state anthem—a tribute to the notoriously brutal yet joyous winters of the Twin Cities.  It is the third track on Across The Universe, the third album by the Minnesota locals Trip Shakespeare.  Though a cult favorite, Trip Shakespeare isn't quite as famous as the sum of its parts.  After breaking up in 1993, bassist John Munson and vocalist Dan Wilson left to form Semisonic, which spent the later half of the 90s topping the charts with a song called "Closing Time."  Dan Wilson has since won two Grammys for his songwriting collaborations with Dixie Chicks ("Not Ready To Make Nice") and Adele ("Someone Like You.") 

"Snow Days" was written by Matt Wilson—Dan's slightly younger brother—and is sung primarily by John Munson. It tells the story of a "Mrs. Braintree" and the violent morning snow which makes her commute to work essentially impossible.  After all, "all the roads are closed" and "It's coming down."  The three singers cry out "it's coming down" so often on "Snow Days" that you can't help but take their word for it—it's probably a blizzard out there.  Though Dan Wilson's piano sounds nothing like Vince Guaraldi's, his sensitivity on the instrument combined with drummer Elaine Harris's performance on sleigh bells makes the song sound almost like a B-side off of A Charlie Brown Christmas.  John Munson isn't as gifted of a singer as the Wilson brothers—who sing lead vocals on about two thirds of the group's entire catalog—but he is theatrical and emotive, almost like a stage actor.  He is also a brilliant fretless bass player and he slides around on his instrument like a car hydroplaning.  As singers, the Wilson brothers of Trip Shakespeare pull off wonderful harmonies which would make the Wilson brothers of The Beach Boys quite proud.  If John Munson sounds like he's singing about Mrs. Braintree, the two brothers sound like they are singing to Mrs. Braintree.  They sound almost like guardian angels, providing the same advice to the poor Mrs. Braintree: "go home and take a snow day."  Rarely has a psychedelic rock band pulled off something so endearing and heartwarming.  Trip Shakespeare did.  For more than 20 years,"Snow Days" has been played on radio stations in Minnesota.  If you ask me, it should be played all over the world in December.  

"Snow Days" by Trip Shakespeare

"Snow Days (Live 2010)" by The New Standards (feat. John Munson. Special Appearance by Matt Wilson)

On December 7th 2013, the full Trip Shakespeare lineup reunited for two songs at the annual New Standards holiday show.  While 3/4 of Trip Shakespeare have been known to perform from time to time with semisonic drummer Jake Slichter, this was the first reunion with the amazing stand-up drummer Elaine Harris in 20 years! Here's an extra special performance of "Snow Days" featuring Chan Poling, vocalist and pianist of both The New Standards and The Suburbs.  

"Snow Days" by Trip Shakespeare (feat. Chan Poling)

That same night, Trip Shakespeare also played "Susannah" a fan-favorite b-side which Matt Wilson also included on "Descender," his out-of-print post-Trip Shakespeare demo from 1994.  

"Susannah" by Trip Shakespeare

MOVIE NIGHT: THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW (1990) WITH SPECIAL GUESTS ICE-T, JELLO BIAFRA (DEAD KENNEDYS) AND TIPPER GORE

This is a particularly controversial and entertaining episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show.  Topics include the fear of censorship, controversial lyrics in music, the parental advisory sticker, and the potential for certain music to promote anarchy, racism and sexism—whether it was the artist's intention or not.  The panelists include Jello Biafra of the Dead Kennedys, Ice-T, Tipper Gore of the Parents Music Resouce Center, Juan Williams (then of The Washington Post,) music critic Nelson George and Rabbi Abraham Cooper.  Before we watch, it's important to familiarize ourselves with some of the albums mentioned on this program.  Click the album title and you will be redirected to a review from the finest critics in the world at www.allmusic.com.  Without a doubt, these reviewers "know their shit" more than anyone.  

Frankenchrist (partial album) by Dead Kennedys

And, finally—I'd never thought I'd say this—let's watch The Oprah Winfrey Show.  It's divided into four parts.

Here's my take.  Frankly, I don't care.  I'm 23, I don't have kids and my seven year old cousin curses more than I do.   That said, I don't think this is a censorship issue and I'm completely in favor of the "Parental Advisory" sticker.  If certain movies can have an R-rating, then I don't see the problem in having essentially the same system for music.  One criticism I do have—and it is the same issue I have with the MPAA— is that the sticker is often used too liberally and unfairly.  

I'd like for everyone to keep this in mind.  Artists and musicians are pretty much exactly like screenwriters and actors.  They take on characters and write stories.  Both, more often than not, produce works of complete fiction.  No matter how biographical they sound, song lyrics, in no way, indicate definitively what an artist's belief or ideology is.  Sometimes the line between satire and realism is much more difficult to see in music—particularly because you aren't seeing anything.  Whether his or her point is obvious or obtuse, I will always take the artist's perspective as the song's true meaning.  

Hey!—feel free to comment below.  I feel like I'm distributing a magazine on the moon.  If you're out there, I wanna hear your perspective.