SINGLES GOING STEADY: "I'LL NEVER BREAK YOUR HEART" BY BACKSTREET BOYS

Here it goes...

(Sigh)

Why is it that I feel like I'm opening a huge can of worms by admitting that I like a song by Backstreet Boys? I think it's because I'm a straight man and their music is meant for girls? That shouldn't make a difference.  The song "Purple Rain" is geared to girls just as much as anything by Backstreet Boys.  Listen to how girls scream at The Beatles when they sang "I Want To Hold Your Hand."   Maybe the girlie-man connotations come less from the song and more from the way an artist sings it.  I suppose high notes and curly vocal runs are aphrodisiacs? But there isn't any stigma associated with a man liking "Isn't She Lovely?" by Stevie "The Boy" Wonder.  

Okay, I got it!  They have muscles.  But, so does Bruce Springsteen!  

Or maybe it's this: they're marketed to girls.  But come on, so were the Beatles.

But Backstreet Boys aren't just marketed to girls.  In essence, they were manufactured for the purpose of making girls go crazy.  Sure that's part of it.  But, more than that, they were manufactured to make money.  Therefore, if aliens from the planet Venus bought a lot of records, you could say bands were manufactured for them—but wait... Aren't women from Venus?  Oh, gee, I sense an unsolved mystery here. If only I didn't lose Agent Mulder's and Scully's numbers when I dropped my phone in a pool!  ;)

Do you see where I'm going here?  It's not me who's crazy.  It's the stigma that's crazy.  The stigma only serves the purpose of continuing the trend of guilty pleasures.  And I've never believed in those things.  I used to.  My guilt was literally the only reason I never ran out and bought this single when I was a kid.

"I'll Never Break Your Heart" by Backstreet Boys

If you don't think this is catchy, you're lying—YOU ARE FUCKING LYING.   The song's chorus is so instantly singable that you know how it goes before it comes around a second time.  Fact. Gotta give a shout out to the main songwriter, the retro R&B artist Eugene Wilde.  Kudos.

One more thing.  If for some reason you have a record label and some capital, I'm willing to make a bet with you.  If for no other reason than it makes fantastic kitsch, some Backstreet Boys CDs will be on vinyl record someday.  Think ahead and reissue them first.